The most difficult challenge is leaving. . .

Peace Corps' advertising can be right on.

I arrived in Benin on July 4^th, 2008. I remember the warmth of the heat and humidity. I remember thinking that it was going to rain soon. It didn’t. It was hell, hectic. We didn’t know anything. Baggage tumbled off the plane and onto decaying conveyor belts. We picked up our lives and resigned ourselves into the hands of an organization that would take care of us.

One of Peace Corps’ posters shows a village scene in Africa. A child does a handstand in front of mud huts. “The most difficult challenge is leaving.”

I’ve wanted to leave before, but Benin kept luring me back to her.  Two years in a village, two years in a city. The end has been in sight the whole time, but I’ve managed to push it away. “Almost done” has never been the case until now.

Today is May 21^st, 2008. It’s almost three years and 11 months since I arrived In Benin.  I’ve made my decision. I’m taking the challenge head on. I’m leaving.  For me, leaving is a process that starts today and will continue until January 30^th, 2013.

The blog is called “The Challenge of Leaving.” It will serve as a mémoire of leaving. I want to relive my life in Benin as a way of saying goodbye. I’ll visit friends, live experiences, and see places one last time. I’ll tell stories no one has heard before. I’ll celebrate Benin and I’ll berate it. That’s how Benin is. Benin brought me into herself, for better or for worse. The things weighing heavily on my memory are more likely to be tragedies than comedies. This is the reality of my life here.  I’m not going to sugarcoat my experience or feelings. I’m going to share the reality of my life and the truths behind the Challenge of Leaving.

-John Mark Feilmeyer